We all know that in most countries and cultures there is a big difference between the way boys and girls are brought up and
what is expected of women and men. Girls are traditionally expected to marry, have children and raise a family; boys are expected
to get an education, get a job and provide for their family. This means that girls and boys are socialised into expecting
very different ways of life, they learn to expect and accept very different roles in society. This is what we call “gender”.
Sex is what we are born with, you are born a boy or a girl with different sexual organs. Gender is what we learn is our role
in society. The expectations and the way we are treated in the family, at school and in society tend to form us into different
kinds of beings. Girls are expected to be gentle, caring and obedient; boys are expected to be outgoing, active, taking charge.
This might lead to problems for both boys and girls. Men might lose out as fathers and care givers; women lose out as public
actors, politicians and leaders. We need to get away from these stereotypes to make sure that each individual has the opportunity
to develop his or her talents as a human being, not only as a representative of one of the sexes. We want both girls and
boys, women and men to be able to play an active role in society: We want both women and men to be caring and gentle and take
care of their families. We want both women and men to be able to think critically, speak their minds, and have the self confidence
it takes to participate in politics and decision-making in society.
Exercise
Four corners
Aim: to encourage participants to think, listen and make up their own minds about gender differences. Another aim is to encourage everyone to listen to different arguments.
The time it takes: 30 to 45 minutes
How: In the corners of the room hang up a sign saying NO in one corner, YES in another corner, Both yes and no in the third and I don’t know in the fourth corner.
Ask all the participants to gather in the middle of the room.
Read a statement to them, for instance:
It is important that women and men have different roles in society
All the participants have to go to one of the corners. If they agree with the statement, go to the YES corner, if they both agree and disagree go to that corner etc. No one is allowed to not choose a corner. When everyone has decided on a corner the facilitator will ask various participants in the different corners to explain why they have chosen that corner, to argue for their view point. The participants are encouraged to change corners if they hear a strong argument they agree with. This is a way to encourage people to really listen to other arguments. Changing your opinions may be a good thing.
Here is a list of possible statements:
- Women are better leaders than men
- There should always be at least 40% of each sex in the Parliament
- Girls who dress provocatively can blame themselves if they are raped or harassed
- In order to achieve equality it may be necessary to appoint a woman even if there is a man who is better formally qualified for the position.
- The rules of a religious society are above the laws of the country.
Another type of question is to present a situation and ask “What would you do if…”
One example: In your organisation you realise that a previously active girl has dropped out because her parents have decided that she is to be married to an older man and must prepare for the wedding. You realise that she is not happy with this decision, but she has to obey her parents.
What would you do:
- Go to her father and argue with him that this is not good for the girl
- Do nothing because in your culture the men decide
- Raise the issue as a discussion in the organisation
- Write an article in a big newspaper about the cultural practice of forced marriages.
Organise the corners accordingly 1,2,3 or 4
As a facilitator it is important that you use statements or cases that are suitable in your country.
Debating exercise
The aim: to learn more about debating techniques and to be more aware of gender inequality
The time it takes: 45 minutes
How: Divide the participants into two groups. Decide on a theme for the debate that the participants are interested in.
For instance:
- Boys and girls should go to separate schools/classes
- We need more women as leaders. To achieve this we suggest that a woman should be chosen even if there are male applicants with better formal qualifications.
- Sex education should be compulsory for boys and girls above 12 years of age
To the facilitators: It may be a good idea to have some written material about the issue available for the participants to read before the debate. Ask a group of participants to be observers to the debate. They will take careful notes on the ways the participants handles the situation. After the debate they will comment on the debating techniques that were used:
Did the participants seem well prepared?
Did they use good arguments?
Did anyone use domination techniques?
Were the arguments presented in a clear and understandable language?
Were they listening to each other?
What did the body language signify?
Did they stick to the topic?
Group A is told to argue for one side, Group B is told to argue for the other side.
The groups are asked to elect one person to be the debater. The groups are given 15 minutes to plan the debate and think of as many arguments as possible in favour of their side. They will also give good advice to the debaters on how to handle the situation.
The debate takes place between the two debaters. During the debate the other participants may suggest arguments written on slips of paper, but they must leave it to the debater to use the argument.
The debate is recorded on video (if possible). After max.15 minutes the video is played and the participants discuss the performance. The comments should always have a positive angle, you want to encourage the debaters to improve their debating technique and strengthen their self confidence.
Ask the participants to give feedback on the debate.
Group discussion
The aim is to raise awareness of the participants’ attitudes.
The time it takes: About 60 minutes
How: Divide the participants into five groups, two groups of females only, two groups of males only, one group mixed. Give the groups about 20 minutes to discuss some or all of these questions:
What are the most important duties of a girl?
What are the most important duties of a boy?
What is most important: To be good at school, to be active in a youth organisation, to be helpful at home? Why?
Should we expect different things from girls and boys? Why?
Present the answers in the plenary and discuss them.
Was there a difference between the groups? What was the difference?
Ask the participants to give feedback on the exercise.
